|
|
 |
|
|
||||||||||||||||||
|
  |
|||||||||||||||||||
| Four Expectant Fathers... | ||||||||||||||||||||
| Four expectant fathers
were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room, while their wives were in labor.
The nurse arrived and announced to the first man, "Congratulations sir,
you're the father of twins." "What a coincidence!" the man said with some obvious pride. "I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team." The nurse returned in a little while and turned to the second man, "You, sir, are the father of triplets." "Wow, that's really an incredible coincidence," he answered. "I work for the 3M Corporation. My buddies at work will never let me live this one down." An hour later, while the other two men were passing cigars around, the nurse came back. This time, she turned to the third man, who had been quiet in the corner. She announced that his wife had just given birth to quadruplets. Stunned, he barely could reply. "Don't tell me another coincidence?" asked the nurse. After finally regaining his composure, he said, "I don't believe it, I work for the Four Seasons Hotel." After hearing this, everybody's attention turned to the fourth guy, who had just fainted, flat out on the floor. The nurse rushed to his side and, after some time, he slowly gained back his consciousness. When he was finally able to speak, everyone could hear him whispering repeatedly the same phrase over and over again. "I should have never taken that job at 7-Up!"; "I should have never taken that job at 7-Up!"; "I should have never taken that job at 7-Up!" |
||||||||||||||||||||
| Letter of Recommendation | ||||||||||||||||||||
|
Bob Smith, my assistant
programmer, can always be found hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works
independently, without wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob
never thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always finishes
given assignments on time. Often, Bob takes extended measures to complete
his work, sometimes skipping coffee breaks. Bob is an individual who has
absolutely no vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be classified as
a high-caliber employee, the type that cannot be dispensed with. Consequently,
I duly recommend that Bob be promoted to executive management, and a proposal
will be executed as soon as possible. Regards, KEEP READING... Shortly thereafter,
the HR department received the following memo from the Project Leader:
|
||||||||||||||||||||
| The Swim Competition | ||||||||||||||||||||
| Three women, a blonde,
a brunette and a redhead competed in the breast stroke division of an English
Channel swim competition--the brunette came in first, and the redhead was
a close second. Much later, the blonde finally reached the shore, completely
exhausted and near the point of drowning. After being revived with blankets and coffee, she muttered, "I don't want to sound like a sore loser, but I think those other two girls used their arms." |
||||||||||||||||||||
| The Crash | ||||||||||||||||||||
| A woman and
a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars
are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they
crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting.
I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately
we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends
and live together in peace for the rest of our days." The man replied, "I agree with you completely." "This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man, The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..." |
||||||||||||||||||||
|
© 2000 IHTML & Maria Jose All Rights Reserved. |
