dear mommy ria,
i need advice. here's this guy who i like as a friend. and i think he likes me as a friend too although he admitted before he wanted to court me. (kapal) anyway, i still want to be friends with him but it seems he's too occupied with other things to even bother to.. keep in touch. i miss my other friends too (na kabarkada nya). in short, miss ko silang lahat. but well, when we saw each other (kinda lately lang) we barely said 'hi' or something. someone told me he thinks i ignored him or what. but it's not true, i mean why the HELL would i approach him when he's surrounded by all those .. guys? i'm a gurl. duh. well that's that. i think i know how this will end anyway.. but if he knows who he is and sees this, i hope he gets the truth. i still want to be his friend (their friend, in fact). and i still need advice.
thanks.
Secret

Dear Secret,
It's normal for the first meeting after a long time between friends; specially if there has been "romantic tension" (I do hope there is such term) before. Examine yourself first, are you sure you really miss them, or just the thought that you have friends. If you think that yours is a great friendship worth the effort, give it time. Compose yourself, write, call, email or text him to say hello. Apologize for ignoring him and explain your side. Don't let the first conversation be heavy, let the fondness for each other rekindle itself first before confronting the bigger issues. After a while, you will feel comfortable with each other again.
If you have had issues with him before, talk about it. If he still feels romantically attracted to you and you're not, tell him how you feel and that in spite of it, you still like to be his friend. If you are romantically attracted to him, as he is to you, don't rush. But if he isn't romantically attracted to you anymore, and you are to him, there's really nothing you can do about it, especially if he already found somebody else. The only thing left for you to do, be a good friend and support him. Be honest but move on. Cry if you must, drive away other people if you want, magpakaloka ka kung gusto mo but only for a time, and I mean days, probably a week or so, but not for months or years. Keeping to yourself will not help neither is jumping into a relationship with another person just to forget him or to get back at him.
I am not the expert in everything, but I do hope this works for you. Let me know what happens. Good luck!
ria

To the guy (if you know who you are),
Understand that only a handful of girls have the guts to approach a guy friend who is with other guys. Not because society dictates that its wrong (I don't believe in that crap anyway), but because of the fear that the guy might shrug us off, pretend they didn't notice or the like. I am not being sexist or anything, but it is harder for girls than for guys to be more comfortable with a group of the other sex.
If you do know who you are, please, I think the girl is a great person, so just make a move to keep the friendship.
ria

To the barkada of the guy,
Please value your friendship with anybody especially with "Secret" coz she really values you much. Support both of your friends, the girl and the guy and don't side with any one of them. Listen to what they have to say, don't offer unsolicited advice just be there.
ria

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